It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change.
One of my favorite articles as of late highlights the research of John Gottman. You can read Masters of Love in The Atlantic. If you want the cliff notes version, it compares successful couples with unsuccessful couples (masters vs. disasters). What the research found was that successful couples exhibit kindness and generosity towards each other while unscucessful couples are critical and have outward contempt for each other. Read more »
In my couples' counseling practice, one of the things I enjoy most is teaching couples new tools to work through conflict. If you're considering counseling to work on your relationship, here is a video that encapsulates the answers to, "What is Imago Relationship Therapy?" and "How can it help me?" I have found the tools of Imago Relationship Therapy transformative in creating greater connection in my own marriage, so it brings me great meaning to share what I've learned with other couples. Enjoy!
The Internet is a wealth of information. You can get medical advice, relationship advice, learn how to cook and really find anything you need. Some of the most popular viral articles these days are ones on relationship advice. As an Imago relationship therapist I can't help but click on an article posted in my social media feeds that promises some sage advice on how to fix, save or create the perfect relationship. Read more »
Why is it that most people cannot remember much of their early childhood, especially anything before age 2 or 3? Many things took place during those early years, things that became foundational for later experiential interpretation, yet most of us cannot recall early events. Without early language skills and without a well-formed sense of “self”, young children may not have the capacity to form cognitive memories that can be easily retrieved later on. Read more »
I just love yard sales! This afternoon while walking with my family I saw a sign. We got in and started to search for hidden treasures. Chatting with the sellers, we found out that they were selling their parents’ belongings. One of the siblings said “It is the hardest thing to say goodbye to all of this; we grew up in this house. We have so many memories of everything here.” Read more »
Have you ever had a situation that goes something like this?: You meet someone and it feels like the stars align. This person is so into you and lavishes you with attention, romance and gifts. The relationship moves very quickly and it feels like you have met "the one." Months down the road when things have settled in comfortably, things start to change. The person who used to adore and worship you now fluctuates between needing you desperately and devaluing you. Read more »
You've probably heard the relationship advice, "You can be right, or you can be together." Often when we get into conflict with our partners, we hold on with every ounce of our being to the conviction that we are right...and surrendering that assumption may feel like capitulation in the heat of an argument.
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