In my own life, and in the relationships I observe with couples in treatment, I’m struck by how seemingly stuck we can get in our routines. Overall, routines do make a lot of sense. But they can get in the way of spontaneity and change. Sometimes, couples want to start their session by sharing with me something that went well for them in the previous week. Most of the time these “successes” of connection, fun, or happiness result from having done something out of the ordinary or unexpected. In many ways, we can’t expect different results if we’re continually doing the same things.