Discover a New Way to Love

Hello! Let me introduce myself: I am Anne Contee. Together with my husband Barry Contee, we invite you to join us on a lighted-hearted journey of healing and deep connection. I am a storyteller and enthusiastic facilitator. My optimistic, self-confident view of the world is not merely one in which the glass is half full, […]

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The Three P’s of Relationship Conflict: Do You Pick, Project, or Provoke?

At the heart of Imago Relationship Therapy is the idea that unresolved wounds of childhood have a way of programming us–patterning us–with an internal blueprint for a partner. The partner who fits this blueprint has the capacity to wound and disappoint us in just the ways we were wounded and disappointed as infants and children. […]

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A Pap Smear Whisperer

Annual Trip to Your Gynocologist For most women, a visit to the gynecologist includes a vulnerable and unpleasant experience and necessity: A Pap smear to scrape cells from the back of the cervix is no picnic.  However, this screening test is a matter of life and death in some instances.  A visit with the OB/GYN […]

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Will I Ever Get My Needs Met

Can You Give Me what I need? Being in a committed long-term relationship is the hardest thing we do. Individuals in a relationship boil down into two distinct categories. You can call them Pursuers and Withdrawers, Minimizers/Maximizers or the-one-who-is-eternally-Disappointed and the-one-who-lives-in-fear-of-eternally-Disappointing. It all boils down to the same fears: “I am never going to be […]

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“I love you” Calculus

Mentality {(Need for Romance + Security) > (Fear of Rejection)100} -Memory {(Declaring Love led to Intimacy last time) ÷ (That relationship ended badly)3} × Anxiety (Will she/he reciprocate?)10 √ {(Is this bad timing?) +Intuition (I’m getting a good vide.)} × (Courage + Nerve ± Recklessness) = “I love you.”* What does it mean to you […]

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Are you Really There for Me?

  Are you Really There for Me? Why are some couples so quick to respond to their partner with anger or defensiveness?  How can we break the cycle of extreme arousal, pain and more wounding that some couples experience with nearly every interaction? “We can’t stop fighting,” I hear.  “Everything turns into a major blow-up!”. According […]

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Stop Shoulding on Yourself!

 Interactions with other people wire the brain for resilience. This dharma talk parable illustrates how interactions can be positively and negatively encoded in the brain.  A seven-year-old boy and his family are having dinner at a local restaurant. The waitress, addressing the boy, asks “What would you like, hon?” And the boy cheerfully answers: “I […]

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Intimacy, a REAL adventure!

Do you ever dream of a beautiful exotic getaway with intimate moments of delight? The adventurous intimacy that you yearn for is not as far away as it might seem, but it’s not always easy to get there. You have to visit your partner’s world–not their office or their hometown, but rather their private inner […]

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The Possible Marriage

My favorite marriage experts agree on at least one thing: The modern marriage is front-loaded with so many expectations for personal fulfillment that marriages often collapse under their own weight. In her popular TED talk, psychotherapist and author Esther Perel observes, “So we come to one person, and we basically are asking them to give […]

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Do as I Do, Not as I Say!

“Do as I say not as I do.” Children mirror parents and peers, fans mimic favorite celebrities, and art imitates life. We know that people learn by watching others. Actions really do speak louder than words. 100’s of billions of neurons make up the brain. Neurons connect with other neurons in what we call brain […]

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