Save Your Relationship in Two Short Phrases

We see things not as they are but as we are. ~ The Talmud Phenomenon vs. story According to the Mirriam-Webster dictionary, a phenomenon is “an observable fact or event,”  “an object or aspect known through the senses rather than by thought or intuition.”  The dictionary also defines a phenomenon as “an exceptional, unusual, or […]

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Expressing empathy feels particularly hard right now!

“In order to empathize with your experience, I must be willing to believe you as you see your experience and not how I imagine your experience to be.” Brené Brown All my survival instincts are on high alert and every possible transgression, thoughtless action or selfish choice kicks me into a level of outrage that […]

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How to stay together when you’re never apart: Surviving couplehood during the coronavirus

In the past eight weeks of quarantine, my husband and I have regularly commented that we are not sure how we would have survived a lockdown if our now-grown four children had been toddlers or elementary school kids or even high schoolers, desperately negotiating to be with their friends…We have deep respect and appreciation for […]

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New Growth Opportunities in Stressful Times

The bombardment of the media makes it almost impossible to pay attention to anything else except the very disturbing impact of the Covid-19.   My clients, friends, and family have backed up claims of the CDC that stress during an infectious disease outbreak can include: Fear and worry about your own health and the health of […]

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Can We Talk About Sex?

Is there a pattern here? “When was the last time you two had sex and was it satisfying?” Couples coming to me for the first time will be asked this question. I usually tell them that some therapists say that “if you fix the sex, the rest will follow,” and others say: “if you fix […]

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Reflections on Fatherhood

For many of us, our fathers were not as involved in our upbringing as we would have liked.

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Using your wisdom as you age

Suddenly having a house devoid of children, when they’d been the major focus in my life for 20 + years, isn’t an easy adjustment. Having my sights set on my three children’s social, emotional, and academic development, made any other goal seem inconsequential at the time.  So, when the kids were finally gone, and on […]

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Discharging Your Loyal Soldier

Together we had to learn new, more loving and conscious ways to respond to each other.

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Communicating or Connecting

Connection is the skill most couples really need to learn.

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It’s Not About the Dishes!

Most of us think that if I am feeling frustrated about something in my relationship, it’s my partner’s fault: he must be doing something to annoy or hurt me on purpose, or she is the problem and needs “fixing.”

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