Giving and Receiving

What if you made a daily practice of giving and receiving? What would it be like for you to be intentional about your connection to your partner? Why not spend December giving gifts of your self and receiving all of the gifts that you are offered. This means receiving praise, compliments, and offered help. It means giving things that are not tangible, wrap-able or purchased on Amazon.

Growth is incremental. Sometimes I have to keep doing something that feels alien until I begin to wear it like it is part of me. This is particularly true for me in my relationship with you. Learning to trust a partner requires trusting before there is enough evidence to prove that my old stories are not part of this new one. Letting go of my ways of keeping myself at a distance, anticipating the foregone conclusions, fearing that what I want will not be...is the start of me doing it until I become it. You hang in there when you know that I am fearful, you encourage me when I am doubtful, you hold me when I am suspicious. You are best able to do it when I acknowledge what my internal story is and ask for what I fear is the impossible ask. Slowly I become me! And you are my path to that growth and healing. #becoming #imago #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #imagorelationshiptherapy #imagorelationship #gettingtheloveyouwant ...

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In Imago-Land we start from the premise that our adult intimate relationships serve the unconscious purpose of completing unfinished childhood mastery that will invite us to reach our fullest potential. ♡ When old feelings show up in our relationship, I am unconsciously transported to that time and place when I most felt that feeling. Sometimes I recognize this and other times I can not see it. ♡ Embracing my younger self and seeking to meet the old need gives me a chance to rethink my adaptations that have allowed me to choose pleasure over pain. Today I can tolerate the geowth needed to heal the old pain. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #validation ...

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Are you willing to risk what you know for what you want?💝 The ongoing tension between survival and attachment shows up in all of our relationships. Growth and healing are possible when connecting is safe. Using intentional dialogue you hear me, get me, validate me and empathize with me, whether or not you agree with me. Being heard feels a lot like being loved! Imago Relationship Therapy, is this the next right thing for your relationship? bit.ly/imagotherapist #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #authenticity #spacebetween #validation ...

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Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't say it mean. It's not what you say, but HOW you say it! When two people have any interaction there are at least two completely valid and likely different experiences. * * * What would it be like if we could have a #doover when the way we say something is experienced as hurtful? Let me try again.... Sometimes I know that I muffed the meaning because I can see it in your reaction. Sometimes I know because you tell me what you heard. Sometimes I miss it altogether until it comes out later. * * * Mirroring and validating give me a chance to understand and be understood. Imago Relationship Therapy uses mirroring in a structured dialogue format to create safety between people. * * * #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #authenticity #spacebetween #opinions ...

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Would you rather be right or in relationship? Being right felt so...righteous until it didn't. Right did me no good. It successfully permitted my partner's rebellion, pulling away, justifying behavior, excusing consequences and so much more. Right was a poor companion when I was left standing in the dust of our wranglings. Right became my own shield of denial, conveniently inviting me to focus on you not me! True connection, amazing joy, and simple acceptance is far more valuable to me than right. • We agree to be curious about each other's point if view. • We acknowledge that we do not have to agree when we at least hear and understand the other. • We practice listening and mirroring to assure the best possibility of understanding. • We empathize with the other because we are deeply connected on a feeling level. We choose to be in relationship because my belief that I am right, implies that you are wrong. And that dichotomy is disconnecting and unrelational! #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #intentionalrelationship #anewwaytolove #tellmemore #happyorright ...

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Yes! @psych_today 10 things to say in a conversation... That's interesting, tell me more. I may not agree with you, but I understand what you are saying, it makes sense. I don't like this, but I understand it. I don't understand what you mean, tell me more. I wonder why this is so important to you... I may be wrong. You may be right. I value your thoughts, thanks for telling me. I imagine this conversation is...for you. Is that how you feel right now? The story I tell myself about this is... When I look for connection I am able to avoid my default response of protecting myself. Both are deeply wired drives for survival. I can choose connection over protection. This approach to conversation works in all of my relationships. Family, friends, colleagues and strangers. Lean in for connection IRL! #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals ...

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Link in bio. Read more about for tips on how to navigate digital dating apps to achieve connection. ...

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Excerpt from "Underbelly" by @realnicolehomer “I was in a workshop, actively not thinking about my private heartache when I—the group—was told to write a love poem. I wonder about the impulse to persist, to try again, to love despite all evidence suggesting one may not be well suited for it. I'm trying to reconcile optimism with honesty and the statistical likelihood of not only failure, but injury.” —Nicole Homer The tension between loving connection and self-protection is visceral. I am wired for survival AND for being in relationship. And yet these two powerful drives conflict over and over again. Safe enough to stay and tolerate my fear.... Being relational challenges me to grow when and where I least feel able. Imago Relationship Therapy helps me to explore the tension between my desires and my resistance. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #authenticity #spacebetween #connectionvsprotection #givingtheloveyouneed #gettingtheloveyouwant #keepingtheloveyoufind #anewwaytolove #startrightstayconnected #imagozoomnights ...

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A NEW WAY TO LOVE: a workshop for couples [What to expect...] Develop effective new communication skills using the “Imago Dialogue” Resolve conflicts with compassion and ease Experience empathy and connection with your partner Recreate the passion, attraction, and intimacy that first brought you together Discover a path to emotional healing and spiritual evolution through your relationship Join us, if you long to: Improve the quality of your relationship Tend with care the space between you Nurture and sustain a trusting and intimate connection Co-create the relationship of your dreams ...

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Sometimes a relationship begins to feel hard. We stop doing the things we did when things were great. The small gestures, tender touches, caring behaviors subside. The energy between us becomes filled with doubt, disappointment and disapproval. When this happens...what would it be like to remember why I first fell for you? I can see the moment clearly...the first time you invited me out for coffee, the conversation that lasted longer than a cuppa, the anticipation of being taken home and hoping but not knowing, the slow lead up to a first kiss that involved many dates, sharing music, getting to know you...I loved that you were bold and adventurous, charming and silly, smart and funny, and you knew how to laugh. Remembering is a good reset for any rocky moment. Those things I fell for are still there, you are the one that I was drawn to, that has not changed. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #gettingtheloveyouwant #keepingtheloveyoufind #anewwaytolove ...

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Sometimes I do THAT. When you see me finishing an argument in my head...you often say to me: " How am I doing in there?" Your lightness and humor invites me to own what I am doing, laugh at myself, and rejoin the present moment to see if I can actually have the conversation out loud! When we disagree, I unconsciously tap into old experiences, past fears, and unmet expectations. My ability to see that this moment is not that memory is limited. Connecting verbally, tenderly, consciously, regulates my nervous system and calms my flight impulse enough for me to re-engage with you. Imago Relationship Therapy taught us to be intentionally connected, to ask for what we want, say what we are thinking, understand each other whether we agree or not. It is not perfect, but we deepened our connection beyond anything we had dreamed possible. Imago Relationship Therapy is a rooted in a dialogical paradigm. The conversation IS our connection. You get me, like no one ever has. And I get you. Whether you want more from your relationship, are struggling, fighting, or just unsure how to grow, with Imago there is hope and joy! Check us out at www.imagocenterdc.com Individual and Couples Therapy Groups Workshops Blog Podcasts 8 locations 16 therapists Sliding fee scale And so much !! ...

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My ability to anticipate your needs, inately "know" what you feel, intuit what you will say or do reinforces communication patterns between us that prevent us from truly connecting. My "helping hand" strikes again when I do for you things that you can do for yourself. Age old beliefs about roles, gender, and identity become a default. Being curious, inviting you to tell me what want, seeking to understand you in your words, these are ways in which we strengthen our connection and honor each other as independent individuals who care for one another. "Are you available" becomes a cue to engage with you and with my own internal story. It slows me down and allows me respond rather than react. Conscious connection is intentional. Imago dialogue provides a structure that builds my intent muscles! #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #authenticity #spacebetween ...

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We want to introduce Imago Zoom Nights: an online opportunity to increase passion, safety and connection in your relationship -- from the comfort of your own home. In other words: a "virtual date night!" If you and your partner have attended an Imago workshop or had some experience with Imago therapy, this is for YOU. Join your hosts Caroline and Jason Bernhardt-Lanier and a small group of couples online to: Practice resolving conflict safely Strengthen your dialogue skills Experience more safety, intimacy, and appreciation Have fun! Each session, there will be time for learning or reviewing an Imago theme, private time to practice and connect with your partner, and time for group sharing, encouragement, and support. WHO: Couples who have attended a Getting the Love You Want workshop or have had Imago therapy WHERE: Online, through the Zoom platform (link sent after registration) COST: $50 per couple per 90-minute session or $135 for 3 sessions WHEN: 4th Sunday of each month (except October), 8-9:30pm 9/22, 10/20, 11/24, 12/22, 1/26, 2/23, 3/22, 4/26, 5/24 & 6/28 RSVP for any sessions you want! Space limited. ...

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Vulnerability is the key to our connection. Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. Brene Brown My default is to shut down, deny my feelings or at the very least, dial them way down. Connection [attachment] is the most basic human need from the moment of existence. And the tension between wanting to be connected and needing to self-protect is powerful. Our earliest developmental growth, in the pre-conscious years, sets up for adapting, in any way that we can. We each have our preferred adaptive tools. And our tools are rarely compatible with connection! Connection is possible! Imago Relationship Therapy provides tools and skills for conscious connection. Message me for more information about Imago Worldwide. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #gettingtheloveyouwant #anewwaytolove #caringbehaviors #appreciations ...

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Everybody makes sense, if only to themselves! I can always listen to understand you, which has nothing to do with agreeing with you. Your experience is completely valid, whether or not it is my experience. Our willingness to accept that contributes significantly to our ability to understand and connect with each other. I know your pain and you know mine. Tell me you get me; tell me I make sense. When you do this I feel heard and seen and known. This is my deepest longing, that you love me because you know me, all of me, my fears and pain, in all my messy glory. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #validation Message us for more information on our OCT couples workshop! Register online @ www.imagocenterdc.com ...

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And my frustration is an unexpressed need coming out sideways. When I hear that you are frustrated with me, I have the option to wonder if there is some part of me being invited to grow. Is this an opportunity for me to look at myself? Am I willing and available to be THAT person? The one who can validate and empathize with you while also being in touch with my true self and my needs desires, and wants. When I see your needs as my opportunity I often grow parts of myself that have until now been planted but not cultivated. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #gettingtheloveyouwant #givingtheloveyouneed Learn more at a couples workshop in DC. DM for more information. ...

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This is true for people, places and things. When I share my thoughts, feelings, desires, needs, and dreams you have more of me to know and connect with. When my space is available to you, we fill the space together. When what we have is shared amongst us, there is enough to go around. Generosity is contagious. Abundance is self restoring. More hugs, more kisses, more connection, more laughter, more joy, more tenderness, more passion, more, more, more. What we put in comes back to us #imagorelationshiptherapy #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #authenticity #spacebetween #imago #imagorelationship ...

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Knowing and understanding are two different things. Asking for what I need is on me. Understanding my need is the invitation of Imago dialogue. When you understand the birthplace of my longing, it is possible for you to stretch to heal my old wounds. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment #authenticity #spacebetween Learn more about Imago, take a workshop: www.imagocenterdc.com/a-new-way-to-love/ ...

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Everything you do is telling me something about you. When I see your actions as acts of love and self-regard, signs of stress or fear, indications of your mood or interest, I begin to craft a story in my mind about what I think is going on with you. This story is based more on how I am experiencing you than how you are experiencing the moment. My next best thing to do is to invite myself to share my "story" or be curious about your behavior. The story I am telling myself.... Tell me more about you, I want to understand.... This is the basis of Imago dialogue and is intended to create connection, safety, and understanding. Paired with empathy, this kind of communication is healing, trust-building, and caring. #imago #imagorelationship #imagorelationshipstherapy #iloveyou #consciousconnection #tellmemore #imagodialogue #imagowisdom #couplesgoals #attachment Learn more about Imago tools at the next A New Way To Love workshop- Oct 13, 20, and 27 at St Mark's Capitol Hill, DC. www.imagocenterdc.com/a-new-way-to-love/ ...

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This is a game changer! From laundry to sweet comments what you say or do fills the space between us. #appreciations #imagorelationshipstherapy #imagorelationship #imago #consciousconnection #anewwaytolove A New Way To Love workshop Sundays in Oct. Starting Oct 13. 3 sessions, 4 hours, 2-6pm Join Hayley and David for this relationship adventure! www.imagocenterdc.com ...

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