As we turn the page on a new year, many of us intend to make this year the time we improve our personal relationships. We often jot down a few personal goals at the beginning of each year, and if you are like me, within a few months the list has been forgotten or eclipsed by the “stress du jour.” How can this year be different?
Although the very point of goal setting is to look forward and take personal responsibility, sometimes, especially in relationships, it is helpful to look back as well as forward and to set goals together as a couple. This ensures that goals are informed by what both partners believe is and is not working well in the relationship. Using the Imago dialogue, ask your partner a few of these annual review questions, mirror the answers, then switch. I think you’ll find the answers a great starting point for setting collaborative relationship goals in the new year. Check your progress during weekly or monthly dialogs with your partner. Happy New Year!
- How did I add to your life last year?
- How would you like me to add to your life in the new year?
- What helped you to feel loved and safe last year?
- What would help you to feel loved and safe in the new year?
- What precious memories do you have from this past year?
- What precious memories would you like to create in the new year?
- How did you see me grow in the past year?
- In what ways would you like me to grow in the new year?
- What did you learn from me in the past year?
- What would you like us to learn in the new year?
The above questions were developed by Ola Stasiak-Brough, an Imago Therapist in Atlanta, Ga.