Retro Dating

We’ve all been there: you’ve just broken up with your special someone, said your goodbyes (“I don’t think we should see each other for a long time”), and then, without warning, you start doubting yourself. Maybe it starts with an email, or a text, or a phone call, but before you know it the two of you are back together.

A friend of mine refers to this as “retro dating” and swears that it never works. I tend to agree with his sentiment. This friend further explains that for retro dating to work, one of two things must happen: 1) Something significant about you changes, 2) Something significant about your partner changes. I’d add that something needs to change about the relationship. The problem is, when we’ve just separated, feel lonely, and begin to second-guess ourselves, it’s difficult to determine if anything has changed.

What’s been your experience? Have you every successfully retro dated? Do you caution your friends against it?

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