Virtual Connections: Relationship Tip of the Month

Social networks such as Facebook and Twitter are excellent instruments to establish connection. Yet they can be a source of disconnect and rupture for committed relationships, because they offer an opportunity to reconnect with old infatuations. Social networking may make it easy to meet people with similar interests, particularly when you are feeling disconnected from your partner. Virtual connections often eradicate inhibitions, allowing online relationships to develop faster and deeper than face-to-face bonds. Here are some tips to stay connected in your own relationship and still enjoy the excitement of connecting with old friends:

  • Dialogue about the importance of the social network for you.
  • Make a covenant with your partner about the time each of you will spend networking when you are home.
  • “Friend” your partner and spend time posting interesting things that are happening to you.
  • Focus your energy on your partner when you are having dinner or on a date; avoid messaging or consulting your network pages.
  • If you reconnect with people you were attracted to in the past, make sure your spouse has access to your conversations.
  • If struggling with feelings for a virtual friend, minimize or eliminate interactions with that person.
  • After arguments with your partner, avoid resorting to the social networks to find affirmation and connection; stay focused on your relationship.