The Core of Anxiety and the Birthplace of Joy

Anxiety and depression, either alone or together, blocks us from living from our most authentic selves. Vulnerability researcher, Brene Brown, takes on what she calls our “fatalistic response” to life, turns it on its head, and offers listeners insight and great, huge, womping lots of inspiration. If you haven’t  found her yet on TED talks. […]

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Vision Quest Imago Style

 At some point in the early days of our marriage (it was 43 years this summer) my husband and I started writing down 5-year plans. We’d go out to dinner with the purpose of brainstorming and we’d have fun putting our heads together to envision our lives together. We’d write down stuff like buying a house, […]

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Relationship Rule to Break: It takes two to argue. . .

. . .and the partner doing the most talking is the one to blame. The tension of arguments, defining and expressing our own differing opinions, comprises some of the real pleasures of being in a mature relationship. Run fast, however, from any relationship rule about arguments that encourages blame. I know, I know, removing the […]

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If You Are A Man Or Love a Man. . .

. . .or maybe I should get right to my point: everyone should read James Hollis’ book, Under Saturn’s Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men. Not only is it clear and straightforward on the topic of men’s issues, but, it resonates. Make sure you’re your have a highlighter nearby when you read it; it’s the […]

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Connecting with Kids

 As summer chugs into August, many parents may be counting the days until September! But wait, these last few weeks with the kids home remains an invaluable opportunity to get smarter about what is going on in the emotional dynamics between you and your children. A few blogs back I recommended Roberta Gilbert as a […]

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Video Games: The Ongoing Questions

I appreciate my colleague Nathan Gehlert’s recent remarks in the article the posted on video game addiction. In my practice, as well, clients bring their worries about excessive playing of video games. Indeed, the phenomena is enough in the foreground of our culture that the APA actually considered adding game addiction to the soon to be […]

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The End is Near. . .

The End is Near… …with all the dread and fear that goes with it. You hear yourself or your spouse spouting: I’m out of here. I don’t like you anymore. I want a divorce. Perhaps you haven’t said a thing, but you’re plotting your exit. There are all sorts of factors that go into discerning […]

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Cooped-up, Cop out, Co-op?

Okay, obviously I like word play (I’ll get to my title in a minute).  But I like play play, too, and that’s what’s on my mind today. Now that I’m old enough to be observing my kids raising their own children, I’m acutely aware of how important it is for parents to get away and […]

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The Magic Years

I first became a parent in 1969, and it’s hard to believe that my oldest child now has two of his own. Being involved in my grandchildren’s lives (six total!) cements for me the truth that we are never done learning about life and love. One of the resources I used back in the day […]

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Cartoon Marriage

The veteran English teacher in me loves this title borrowed from New Yorker cartoonist, Liza Donnelly and Michael Maslin’s collection of the same name. Read one way, it sounds like marriage is being described as a cartoon (ha-ha funny).  Read another way, the word cartoon becomes an imperative command for us to lighten up, cartoon our […]

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