What Do I Do Next?
Political transitions can be emotionally challenging. It is a time when many things change, and this year more than ever before, people have been expecting to see big changes in how our government functions. Each of us are having our own unique psychological responses to the heightened uncertainty and anticipation. While some may be celebrating potential changes, many others are grappling with big emotions like anxiety, anger, and fear.
All these emotions are valid and normal. You may have heard that many times already, but it’s important to emphasize so I will say it again. Big emotions in response to big changes are healthy. It shows your mind is working as intended: alerting you to the fact that something important is happening, and helping you calibrate the strength and tone of your response to the situation.
Tips for Dealing
So what are some healthier ways you can respond when big emotions come up for you? Here’s some tips you can try:
- Notice when you are experiencing something inside yourself related to recent events.
The crucial first step is to notice what is happening! Let go of the task you are doing, and notice that you are having a reaction inside yourself. Just taking a second or two can interrupt a spiral, and stop you from acting impulsively or unconsciously.
- Name what is happening inside yourself, to yourself.
This could look like naming “My leg keeps jittering” or “I am feeling very anxious” or “My thoughts keep returning to worries about what happens next.” By naming the very fact that you are experiencing something, you are telling your emotions “I hear you. Thank you for doing your job and trying to alert me. I’ve gotten the signal, you don’t have to be so loud anymore now.” It also is the first step in deciding how to move forward consciously. It puts yourself in the driver’s seat, not your emotions.
- Ask yourself, what could be helpful to myself right now? Then listen for an answer.
This is when to think about potential coping strategies. For instance, if you are feeling sad it might suggest reaching out to a loved one, or do an activity you usually enjoy. If you are angry it might be better to consider trying to soothe yourself, maybe with a few deep breaths or journaling, rather than accidentally finding yourself snapping at someone. If you are feeling anxious, think about trying a relaxation strategy, or doing something that is mildly anxiety-inducing then rewarding yourself for completing it. If you are feeling guilty or shameful, it can be helpful to play like a child, and remind yourself of the innate joyousness of living.
When you ask yourself what could be helpful, you may also find that what you are doing is making things worse. That would suggest it might be good to change focus for a time, then return to what you were doing later (if at all).
- Consciously proceed with doing something that could be helpful.
Decide what makes sense, in the moment, based on listening to yourself and what you are needing. Consider what the situation you are in right now is (Driving? At an event? Finishing something at work?) Examine your personal goals. Look at your values. After you have selected something you think could be helpful, proceed, mindfully, and give it a try. And if the first thing you pick is less than helpful, notice that too. See if you want to mindfully examine a different value or goal. You can always go back and try something different, if your first attempt to do something helpful does not turn out to be as helpful as you hoped.
Repeat as many times as you need, as often as you need. Coping with big emotions is a process that requires practice and grace. Remember, it’s okay to experience intense feelings, and there are things you can do in the moment to help manage them.
What it looks like in practice
Sarah, a 35-year-old teacher from Ohio, finds herself constantly checking news updates on her phone. She’s worried about potential changes to education policies that could affect her job. As the election draws closer, she notices her heart racing whenever she sees a political ad on TV. She has trouble sleeping at night, replaying worst-case scenarios in her mind.To cope with these big emotions, Sarah can try the following steps:
- Notice: Sarah recognizes that her constant news-checking is causing anxiety.
- Name: She tells herself, “I’m feeling anxious about the election’s impact on my job.”
- Ask: Sarah considers what might help her feel better. She realizes that limiting her news intake could reduce her stress.
- Act: She decides to check the news only once a day and spends her evenings engaging in relaxing activities instead.
These are also just first steps for responding in-the-moment to big emotions you might have! Their goal is not to address the underlying concerns creating those big emotions. While that is outside the scope of this short blog, some ideas you may consider could include connecting more deeply with loved ones, meaningfully engaging with causes that you care about, and getting professional support through therapy.
Is there more?
If you are experiencing big emotions and struggling to make meaning or sense, please reach out to someone who can walk with you through the emotions. Find a Therapist, join a process group, connect with others. You are not alone.