Category: Communication
Talk less! Harville Hendrix says “Talking is the most dangerous thing we do in our relationships.” Talking, the way we try to connect, often becomes the very thing that causes distress and rupture. When we are activated, what if we pause. When in doubt do nothing. Breathe. Notice and name what you can about You. […]
READ ARTICLE
One dialogue, three books, one experience, and one poem – here are some different ways to engage with your embodied life and intimate connection to your partner. An intimacy deepening dialogue Talking about sexual intimacy can bring up all kinds of feelings for people because we have received so many different messages about sex and […]
READ ARTICLEAnger is a basic human emotion and a normal adaptive response to threats. But it can be destructive to our health and relationships if we don’t know how to manage it effectively, especially in a partnership.
READ ARTICLEHigh conflict marriages without much affection are very bad for our health. In contrast, living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
READ ARTICLE
Although what rested at the bottom of my cup was not “guilt” so much
as “shame.” Shame. This has meant for me a feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that I was liable to say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. From an early age I felt different than others. I perceived myself as usually less than, less popular, less successful, less socially graceful.
What we say is important, how we say it is paramount.
READ ARTICLE
Criticism, defined as the expression of disapproval or disappointment, can take many forms and can range from constructive feedback to harsh or attacking statements. In this article, criticism is defined as language that blames, shames, or belittles your partner. Regardless of the form it takes, excessive criticism can be harmful to the health of a […]
READ ARTICLE
A Love Letter to the Expat in Me My childhood as an expat in high-risk countries has greatly shaped who I am today. As a child I lived in four different continents, changed schools seven times, and resided in my home country for seven inconsecutive years. Ambiguity, regular uprooting, or living in the outskirts of […]
READ ARTICLEI imagine, we all know the difference between a genuine warm welcome and a half-hearted, reluctant gesture that is meant to pass for welcoming. We know this deeply in our nervous systems, well before our brains assign meaning to the feelings that arise from a lack of genuine engagement. Our amazing and brilliant survival system is generally excellent at gathering data and sorting it into safe or not-safe buckets. It knows the difference between warm and welcoming and fake hospitality.
READ ARTICLE
Boundaries are the root of self-care and are necessary for creating a healthy life. They are limits we create for ourselves to have the life we want and deserve as unique human beings. They are not the rules and limits that we have internalized from our childhood or by comparison with others. It’s a tricky […]
READ ARTICLE