Author: Caroline Bernhardt-Lanier
What your body might be saying — even when your words sound nice We’ve all been there: trying to say the “right” thing in a hard conversation… but our partner still pulls away or shuts down. Here’s the truth: you can have the best words in the world, but if your tone is sharp, your […]
READ ARTICLEWhy your partner’s perspective doesn’t have to match yours to matter In the Imago Dialogue, every conversation begins with an invitation: I’d like to invite you to come into my world. Are you available? When the receiver says yes, they’re agreeing to cross a bridge, to step away from their own familiar landscape of needs, […]
READ ARTICLEThe power of lightness, laughter, and shared joy in your relationship We often focus on the hard work of relationships: the communication tools, the healing, the self-awareness, the deep conversations. And all of that matters of course. But fun matters too. Sometimes, what your relationship really needs is a little more laughter, a little more […]
READ ARTICLEThree tiny habits that might be hurting connection without you realizing it We all want to be good communicators — thoughtful, loving, and clear. But sometimes, especially when we’re stressed or triggered, we fall into habits that quietly sabotage the very connection we’re trying to build. Here are three sneaky patterns many couples struggle with, […]
READ ARTICLEWhat if the pattern is the real problem? Ever have the same fight over and over? The one that starts about the dishwasher… or a tone of voice… or the way they looked at you? Here’s the thing: most of the time, the fight isn’t actually about what it seems. It’s about the pattern underneath. […]
READ ARTICLEPeople often ask: How do you stay married to the same person for over 30 years? Well, here’s the honest answer: You don’t. The person I married 31 years ago is not the same person I live with today. And I’m certainly not the same either. We’ve both changed—sometimes in sync, sometimes not. Somehow, we’ve […]
READ ARTICLEThere’s a poem by Jayne Gumpel that always stops me in my tracks. It’s called Goddamn It, Just Ask Me. It speaks to a part of me that has, for much of my life, been quiet—maybe even invisible: the part of me that has needs. For years, I saw myself as a giver. I was […]
READ ARTICLEA recent Washington Post article by Yael Schonbrun, “Typecasting others and self as villain or victim can hurt relationships”, explores how we often fall into moral typecasting—assigning rigid roles of villain and victim in our relationships. When we feel hurt or frustrated, it’s natural to see ourselves as the wronged party and our partner as […]
READ ARTICLEI speak three languages — French, English, and Spanish — and I can tell you from experience: understanding the words doesn’t mean you fully understand the culture. You can know how to order un café con leche in Spanish and still feel totally out of place at a family table in Barcelona. You can understand […]
READ ARTICLEImago Therapy is Not Just for Couples “Mom, are you being nice or are you being mean? I’m trying to be nice, so you need to try too.” — A precocious little girl in a viral moment of emotional wisdom We often say that children live in the space between their parents—not just physically, but […]
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