Author: Caroline Bernhardt-Lanier
The Transformative Power of Imago Therapy It’s Not About the Toothpaste In relationships, it’s rarely about the toothpaste. It’s about what the toothpaste represents—what lives beneath the surface of our irritation, what old stories are being unconsciously activated, and how deeply we long to feel understood. Jayne Gumpel, a gifted North American Imago therapist and […]
READ ARTICLEOne dialogue, three books, one experience, and one poem – here are some different ways to engage with your embodied life and intimate connection to your partner. An intimacy deepening dialogue Talking about sexual intimacy can bring up all kinds of feelings for people because we have received so many different messages about sex and […]
READ ARTICLEAnger is a basic human emotion and a normal adaptive response to threats. But it can be destructive to our health and relationships if we don’t know how to manage it effectively, especially in a partnership.
READ ARTICLEHigh conflict marriages without much affection are very bad for our health. In contrast, living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
READ ARTICLEChange your lens, change your relationship! First of all, how would your relationship be different if you approached your partner reflecting on two questions: What can I celebrate in my partner? and 2. What’s right with our relationship? This sounds challenging, right? We are not programmed this way! Our default is looking for what’s not […]
READ ARTICLEWhat do rubber bands, willow trees, and roly-poly dolls have in common? Answer: Flexibility under pressure and the capacity to bounce back after stress. In other words: resilience! The past two years have called for all kinds of resilience from us — as individuals, as couples, as families, as a nation, and as a world. […]
READ ARTICLEDo you know how to apologize meaningfully when you have made a mistake or hurt someone — intentionally or unintentionally? Most of us growing up did not see good models of healthy apologies to repair ruptures and restore relational trust and safety. Some of us were forced to say we were sorry when we weren’t. […]
READ ARTICLEWhen is the last time you played with your partner? Nine months into a global pandemic, you might not feel very playful, especially if you and your loved ones have experienced hardship or loss. But that is exactly why we need play more than ever in our relationships! We need to counterbalance some of the […]
READ ARTICLEWhat I learned from a quality espresso machine. A sticky coffee situation “Give me room to grow!” I found myself asking my husband when we recently got stuck in a triggering conversation about spending money, being on the same team, and assuming we could predict each other’s feelings, intentions, and reactions. A little background: he […]
READ ARTICLEIn the past eight weeks of quarantine, my husband and I have regularly commented that we are not sure how we would have survived a lockdown if our now-grown four children had been toddlers or elementary school kids or even high schoolers, desperately negotiating to be with their friends…We have deep respect and appreciation for […]
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