How Erotically Intelligent Are You?

The Center for Erotic Intelligence defines eroticism as “the interplay of desire and arousal with the daily challenges of living and loving,” and describes the five main elements of erotic intelligence as body attunement, social intelligence, emotional intelligence, self-awareness on steroids, and creative imagination. Erotic intelligence thus combines body, mind, heart, and soul and is essential for us to feel […]

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Intimacy, a REAL adventure!

Do you ever dream of a beautiful exotic getaway with intimate moments of delight? The adventurous intimacy that you yearn for is not as far away as it might seem, but it’s not always easy to get there. You have to visit your partner’s world–not their office or their hometown, but rather their private inner […]

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Choose Today: Shame and Fear or Authenticity and Intimacy?

In the early years of our marriage, my husband Jason and I used to get stuck frequently in the same frustrating interaction. “We need to talk about our relationship” I would announce to him out of the blue, with urgency and anxiousness in my voice. “I’m feeling disconnected.” How do you imagine he would respond? […]

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Parenting as a Spiritual Path: The Lessons in a Severed Ankle, a Chipped Tooth, and Stretch Marks

Growing up, I thought that I could only experience the spiritual in religious places like churches or in solemnly recited words of prayer (and only when I was perfectly well-behaved). Once I became a parent, however, my four children taught me that the sacred can surprise me everywhere, often most intensely through the joys and […]

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Why We Need Gratitude More Than Ever this Thanksgiving

After this polarizing election year that has left many of us feeling disconnected, weary, and fearful, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity for reconnection — even with family members of different political leanings, if we are intentional and focused on practicing gratitude. Here are three reasons that choosing a grateful outlook can help us deal with Uncle […]

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The Best Wedding Gift Ever

If you are preparing to be married, consider premarital counseling: it’s the best investment in your relationship you’ll ever make. You don’t have to be religious to try it. Even though some couples come to premarital counseling because their priest, minister, or rabbi has made it a requirement before marriage, many relationship education programs are not […]

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New Moms: Your Well-Being Matters!

This month, medical and mental health experts on the United States Preventive Services Task Force, a government-appointed health panel, emphasized the importance of screening women for depression both during pregnancy and after giving birth. After having a baby, most women experience some form of the “baby blues,” the normal hormonal adjustment period that usually resolves […]

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“This Is Water”: Goldfish, Supermarkets, and the Power of Awareness

Just this week, for the first time I watched a popular online video, This Is Water, adapted from author David Foster Wallace’s 2005 commencement speech at Kenyon College. Maybe you have seen it; the link is below: http://www.upworthy.com/the-earth-shatteringly-amazing-speech-that-ll-change-the-way-you-think-about-adulthood-4?g=2  I was struck by how brilliantly the video conveyed a message about the power of choice and […]

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Your Brain on Anger

In my work as a couples therapist, I often have couples complain to me about their partner’s anger management issues. As a mother myself, I never knew how angry I could get until I had children! Chronic anger can erode and break relationships and has a huge long-term physical, emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual costs. Exploring, taming, […]

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