Category: Marriage
Couples do not need to repair every conflict in three minutes to have a lasting relationship—but learning how to come back to each other, with less delay and more kindness, can transform the way love feels over time. The Myth of the 3-Minute Repair Not long ago, an Instagram post stopped me mid-scroll. It claimed […]
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Love Begins at the Kitchen Table Culture is a set of customs, rituals, traditions, languages, values, and beliefs within a community that are shared from generation to generation. When I think about love across cultures, I don’t begin with textbooks or theories. I start at my own kitchen table. As an African American woman married […]
READ ARTICLEWhat Imago Taught Me About Real Connection For 25 years, I was married to an active alcoholic. I spent so many nights believing that if I just found the right words, used the gentle tone, picked the perfect moment, or was the most understanding partner ever—he’d finally choose us over drinking. I tried everything. It took me a long […]
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The power of lightness, laughter, and shared joy in your relationship We often focus on the hard work of relationships: the communication tools, the healing, the self-awareness, the deep conversations. And all of that matters of course. But fun matters too. Sometimes, what your relationship really needs is a little more laughter, a little more […]
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Love’s Twists and Turns Love rarely unfolds in a tidy or predictable way. The path takes unexpected turns, twisting and dipping through both joyful highs and uncomfortable lows. If you’ve ever fallen in love, you know this feeling: romance starts off like a wild ride, but true closeness grows when you both learn how to […]
READ ARTICLEPeople often ask: How do you stay married to the same person for over 30 years? Well, here’s the honest answer: You don’t. The person I married 31 years ago is not the same person I live with today. And I’m certainly not the same either. We’ve both changed—sometimes in sync, sometimes not. Somehow, we’ve […]
READ ARTICLEThere’s a poem by Jayne Gumpel that always stops me in my tracks. It’s called Goddamn It, Just Ask Me. It speaks to a part of me that has, for much of my life, been quiet—maybe even invisible: the part of me that has needs. For years, I saw myself as a giver. I was […]
READ ARTICLEA recent Washington Post article by Yael Schonbrun, “Typecasting others and self as villain or victim can hurt relationships”, explores how we often fall into moral typecasting—assigning rigid roles of villain and victim in our relationships. When we feel hurt or frustrated, it’s natural to see ourselves as the wronged party and our partner as […]
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Imagine you hear a loud thud coming from outside. What thoughts come to mind? Maybe “That’s concerning…” or “Oh, they were doing road work nearby today…” or “That’s that package I ordered…” Any of those might fit with what has really happened; any one may well be reality. Or none of those might fit. What […]
READ ARTICLEI speak three languages — French, English, and Spanish — and I can tell you from experience: understanding the words doesn’t mean you fully understand the culture. You can know how to order un café con leche in Spanish and still feel totally out of place at a family table in Barcelona. You can understand […]
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