Ending Villain-Victim Thinking: Imago Dialogue Creates Understanding

A recent Washington Post article by Yael Schonbrun, “Typecasting others and self as villain or victim can hurt relationships”, explores how we often fall into moral typecasting—assigning rigid roles of villain and victim in our relationships. When we feel hurt or frustrated, it’s natural to see ourselves as the wronged party and our partner as […]

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Understanding Reality Brings Peace of Mind and Strengthens Relationships

Imagine you hear a loud thud coming from outside. What thoughts come to mind? Maybe “That’s concerning…” or “Oh, they were doing road work nearby today…” or “That’s that package I ordered…” Any of those might fit with what has really happened; any one may well be reality. Or none of those might fit. What […]

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Getting the Love You Want Might Mean Learning a New Language

I speak three languages — French, English, and Spanish — and I can tell you from experience: understanding the words doesn’t mean you fully understand the culture. You can know how to order un café con leche in Spanish and still feel totally out of place at a family table in Barcelona. You can understand […]

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We Expect To See What We Have Seen Before

My Imago Starting from early childhood, each of us is watching the world around us. Children are always watching, picking up images that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. The term “imago” comes from Latin for “image” and refers to an unconscious, idealized picture of familiar love that develops during childhood […]

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Love’s Journey: A Unique Path for BIPOC Couples

Love is a beautiful journey, but for many BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) couples, relationships exist within a unique landscape—one shaped by cultural expectations, generational trauma, systemic challenges, and the desire to create something strong, joyful, and lasting. Navigating love while carrying these layers can be challenging, but healing is possible. The Getting […]

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One Couple Navigating the Relationship Cycle

Joshua sat on the park bench, watching the golden leaves drift to the ground. Beside him, Brianna gazed at the quiet lake, her fingers entwined with his. It was peaceful now, but they both knew their love had weathered storms. Love was never just a straight path—it was a cycle, a relationship journey. The Romance […]

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Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty

And What Does That Say About You? Think about it for a moment, and let yourself really answer the question: am I a half-full or half-empty kind of a person? The answer has a surprising amount of information about how you view life, relationships, and your ability to form secure attachments. Understanding Narrative Tone In […]

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The Minimizer/Maximizer Dance

The Imago Dance: Understanding Relationship Dynamics Imago Theory, developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, provides a relational framework that examines how childhood experiences shape adult relationships. At the heart of this theory lies the dynamic interplay between minimizers and maximizers, creating a unique relational dance that can either lead to misunderstanding or become a […]

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Grieving the Loss of a Spouse

Grief Seen Through the Imago Lens The loss of a spouse is a profound journey that touches the deepest parts of our being. Through the lens of Imago therapy, we can view this experience as an opportunity for healing and growth, even amidst the pain. The loss of a partner often reawakens childhood wounds and […]

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The Dance of Ambivalence: Unraveling Relationship Complexities

As I settled into my office chair after an enlightening professional course on ambivalence in relationships, I found myself reflecting on the myriad of couples and individuals I’ve counseled over the years. The concept of ambivalence—a tapestry of mixed feelings and contradictory ideas about a person or situation—suddenly took on new depth and meaning. The […]

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