Category: Relationship
Brilliant Adaptations As adults, other people’s character traits trigger us in intimate relationships Take a closer look at the characteristics that precipitate our mean-spirited response with those closest to us. Meanwhile, in other settings, we display a loving, conscious, and empathetic pattern. We respond to triggers with the traits that we most need. Defense responses […]
READ ARTICLE
Mind Your Party Manners I grew up hearing the reminder to remember my “party manners” every time I left the house, even when I joined the soccer practice carpool. My politeness and concern for how others perceived my behaviors is a marker of my Midwestern upbringing. The phrase “Minnesota Nice” is more than a little […]
READ ARTICLE
Change your lens, change your relationship! First of all, how would your relationship be different if you approached your partner reflecting on two questions: What can I celebrate in my partner? and 2. What’s right with our relationship? This sounds challenging, right? We are not programmed this way! Our default is looking for what’s not […]
READ ARTICLE
Navigating a Breakup During the Holiday Season Some people will not be seated at the table for the holidays. Life circumstances are causing spikes in couples deciding to terminate relationships. A leading law firm notes a 122% increase in inquiries about services for divorce between July 2021 and October 2021 compared to the previous year. […]
READ ARTICLE
counselor, and as a counselor to families and to young people, and I cannot overstate how impactful having open, honest conversations about money from the very beginning can be.
READ ARTICLEWhat do rubber bands, willow trees, and roly-poly dolls have in common? Answer: Flexibility under pressure and the capacity to bounce back after stress. In other words: resilience! The past two years have called for all kinds of resilience from us — as individuals, as couples, as families, as a nation, and as a world. […]
READ ARTICLE
In a session I had recently with a couple, a husband told his wife that he wants to help her find peace when she is “off the rails.” He does this by problem-solving and suggesting different ways of looking at the situation. They both agreed that this almost never works, but only escalates her anger […]
READ ARTICLEHow Are You? Good enough! The first memorable time I heard that phrase was when my supervisor responded to my query “How are you?” I was surprised, delighted, and curious when he said, “Good enough!” with a delightful upward lilt and a chuckle. What does it mean to be good enough? Is it “okay” to […]
READ ARTICLEHall of Famers At Bat John Gottman’s research tells us that 67%* of the differences between partners are unresolvable and THIS is the good news. Recently I was talking shop with my brother, whose field of work is vastly different than my own. I mentioned this fact to him and his immediate, and absolutely fabulous […]
READ ARTICLEBoundaries are the root of self-care and are necessary for creating a healthy life. They are limits we create for ourselves to have the life we want and deserve as unique human beings. They are not the rules and limits that we have internalized from our childhood or by comparison with others. It’s a tricky […]
READ ARTICLE