Love is a remarkable and complex emotion that can take us on unexpected journeys. It has the power to transform our lives, presenting us with new opportunities for growth and happiness. Today, I want to share my personal story of finding new love and the immense joy it has brought into my life. This is my celebration of embracing change and the remarkable power of love.
My first love happened when I was married to my college sweetheart. It did not turn out the way I dreamed it would. In my wildest dreams, I could not have fathomed that he would become a disrespectful serial cheater. After that very eventful relationship, I was blessed with my beloved second husband, who showed me how to love with intentionality. My beloved suddenly passed. Imagine experiencing a contentious divorce and then becoming a widow.
Almost immediately, God revealed to me that I would love again. There was no question that I had to take some time to heal. However, my path would not be the same as others or the way others expected who sometimes spend extended time grieving. I did grief my way by celebrating my late husband.
Now I find myself deeply in love with a gentleman who is helping me to experience love in a different way partially because he is my friend of over eighteen years. There is something so different about this relationship. I do not doubt that it is because of how I learned to love through my Imago practices.
Reflecting on the Past
At the beginning of our relationship, we intentionally discussed our past family and intimate relationships and how they may impact our relationship. The amazing thing about this is that when behaviors from past relationships or lost parts from childhood show themselves. The reactivity in our brains, we can quickly recognize it, and gently and lovingly usher each other through with the use of validation. The gift of knowing about the past allows us to have empathy for each other. The adaptations that we once embraced as a means of coping are being replaced with empathy and validation. We are loving differently with each other.
Embracing the Change
Change is inevitable, and sometimes it presents itself in unexpected ways. The uncertainty of opening up to new love and the courage to embrace change. Letting go of the familiar and venturing into the unknown can be daunting, but it can also lead to immense happiness.
When tears stream down my face because my brain and body are experiencing love differently, it does not seem real. I am aware that the Imago practice of appreciation, zero negativity, and abundant language are pieces that make this love so great.
My heart overflows with gratitude and happiness because I can be my total feminine self, which is important to me. The space between my love and me is safe. Therefore, I can welcome this new behavior. Imagine having no doubt that your partner is the most amazing person on earth and loves you unconditionally. I have witnessed my love change from a place of being guarded to just being. This love understands that change is inevitable when two people encounter each other in such an intimate way.
New Love Blossoms
There is often dialogue between my love and me about how we both had to experience what we did so that we could be ready for each other. We had to have disappointments of breakups and the death of spouses and relationships. Maurette Brown Clark wrote it this way, “The one He kept for me until it was time”. We are thankful for our struggle without it we would not have stumbled across our strength and found this new way to love.
Imago Center Washington DC has a women’s divorce support group: Getting Through the Breakup-Reinvent You on Mondays starting July 31 for eight weeks from 8:00 PM to 9:30 PM.