What is group therapy?
Everyone’s heard of groups – AA, or cancer survivor groups, or grief support groups. Most of us have even had a loved one attend a group like that. Or maybe we encouraged a friend or family member to attend. Joining a group ourselves is a different proposition, though, right? All sorts of concerns come up. What will it really be like, you may wonder? Will I just listen to people complain about their problems? What if I’m wasting the group’s time. I’m not really struggling, not like people who really need group therapy, right? Or worse, what if I’m the most unhealthy person there?
In my experience in groups and facilitating groups, what really happens the first session is everyone is just as self-conscious and uncomfortable. With therapist prompting, there’s a little ice breaking. People start to share what brought them to group therapy. Awkward silences fill gaps between speakers. Underneath the spoken words, group members size each other up. Each person wonders how they will fit into the group, arriving at different impressions of each other. Everyone gets a glimpse of how others react to being uncomfortable!
Someone in the group inevitably takes a leap and shares more deeply the shape and texture of their pain. This might happen the first session. It might happen the third. Whenever it happens, there is a new sense of trust. And with that, permission, and even eagerness, members go deeper. Others follow and share about their pain, too. As the revelations come, first impressions start shifting. Someone who initially felt grating becomes more endearing. Someone who first felt comforting becomes more challenging. Everyone starts to feel like they know each other better. And as a result, people start feeling closer.
This is when the group begins to truly address individual difficulties. As initial expectations confront the reality of deeper understanding the work of the group begins in earnest. The magic of group therapy lies in the ability to ask each other genuine questions and expect honest answers. Members might ask, “Did I really come across as proud at first?” or “Was it okay that I spoke for so long?” or even “Did you judge me when I shared that embarrassing problem?”
As the group works together, people learn more and more about themselves. They also learn more about what it is like to be in relationship with them. They discover what aspects of their behavior may not be well-received or might push others away. But also what others appreciate and enjoy about them. And group members, slowly and carefully, experiment with new ways of being! Being louder, or quieter, or more vulnerable, or more open to others’ vulnerabilities. With the knowledge that, in this safe and supportive environment they have created together, all their messy attempts to grow will be welcomed.
A new Understanding Self and Others group is forming now. Learn more here.