Stop Being Perfect and Just Be Good Enough
While perfectionism breeds high performance, high achievement, innovation, and other positive adaptive traits, it comes at a cost. Perfectionism also breeds procrastination, harsh criticism, results-focused thinking, rigidity, fear of failure, and insecurity. Beneath the surface, perfectionism often stems from a deep-rooted need to feel safe, accepted, and in control. It can feel like the only way to avoid criticism, rejection, or failure is to aim for flawlessness. But what if you could let go of that pressure and just be “good enough” instead?
Here’s how you can start the journey from perfectionism to embracing “good enough”:
- Recognize Where It Comes From: Perfectionism often begins as a coping mechanism, especially for those who’ve experienced critical environments, unpredictable situations, or trauma. It’s a way of gaining control in an unsafe or insecure environment. Recognizing that perfectionism is often rooted in childhood experiences, you can start to process past emotional wounds and develop more compassion for yourself.
- Challenge the Inner Critic: Perfectionists tend to have a loud inner critic, one that is constantly pointing out flaws and passing judgements. A therapist can help you bring a sense of curiosity to the critic, allowing you to explore deeper needs that aren’t being met. Understanding the vulnerable feelings underneath the critic’s messages can empower you to create more empathic messages about yourself.
- Practice Self-Compassion: One of the most effective ways to combat perfectionism is by practicing self-compassion. This means being kind to yourself when you fall short and recognizing that imperfections are part of being human. Research shows that self-compassion can help reduce anxiety and depression, which often go hand-in-hand with perfectionism.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Instead of aiming for “perfect,” try focusing on expectations of being “good enough.” This might mean focusing on acquiring new skills rather than striving for a promotion or building upon things you’re already working on rather than starting something completely new.
- Embrace Imperfection as Growth: Accepting imperfection doesn’t mean lowering your standards or giving up. It means recognizing that imperfection is a part of being human. Mistakes and setbacks are opportunities to grow, adapt, and become more resilient.
Embracing imperfection creates more space for creativity, connection, and joy– at work, in your relationships, and within yourself. Therapy can help you process shame and guilt, let go of criticism and judgment, and develop greater resilience and flexibility so you can be “good enough.”