What to Expect in a Break Up

What to Expect in a Break Up

Life Happens

This time of the year can be incredibly challenging if you are in the storm of a breakup.  Over twenty years ago I sat in that seat. I never imagined this would be my journey. Why would two reasonably intelligent people travel down this road? When it was me, I found myself coping with all the ups and downs and emotions. I struggled with what to do. I asked myself, “how long will my heart grieve.” and “how will I make it financially?”   I even questioned, “how could God allow this to happen to me?”  The hardest part about not knowing is that I did not need to know all the answers.  

What Now?

Clients engage in counseling after a breakup hope to get the answers to these questions.  Some questions never have answers. With other questions, the answers reside within. Take time, experience what is going on, trust the process, and break up with grace.  You are not the first person experiencing a breakup, nor will you be the last. Take a deep breath and prepare for the rollercoaster of emotions you may experience during this process.  

What to expect?

Some relationships end amicably, while others, are a traumatic event. The trauma of ending the relationship may require an adjustment period.  In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described five common stages of grief. Grief is a typical response after your relationship ends.  Before the grief sets in, there may be a shock stage. And in the end you could experience rebuilding stage.

Emotional swings, such as anxiety, panic, anger, rage and depression, often occur in the shock stage. You may alternate with interludes of clarity, elation, and optimism. After this initial stage, you could vacillate between denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When you move past acceptance to the rebuilding stage., you enter into healing.  The acceptance deepens.  You let go and move forward with the new you into your future. 

Turning Your Pain into Passion

Grace happens when you allow yourself to experience the process. You are your authentic self as you deal with each painful day,. You express emotion. On a difficult day you may struggle getting out of bed. There are times you don’t know what to do. In rebuilding, grace surfaces as you reinvent the new you.  My pain led me to want to help women cope with a relationship breakup with grace and authenticity. 

Where will your pain lead you? Turn your pain into your passion.