And What Does That Say About You?
Think about it for a moment, and let yourself really answer the question: am I a half-full or half-empty kind of a person? The answer has a surprising amount of information about how you view life, relationships, and your ability to form secure attachments.
Understanding Narrative Tone
In psychological terms, the question helps determine your narrative tone, also called your valence. This is a sense of whether you view the world as a optimistic, hopeful place or a mistrusted, uncertain place. Neither is all true or all false. They are just tendencies that we develop starting in infancy based on our earliest experiences.
Secure, Trusting
The infant who had a secure, trusting attachment bond with a primary caregiver was more likely to have a narrative tone of hope, per Erik Erikson. Hope is “the enduring belief in the attainability of fervent wishes” – an unconscious belief about the extent to which their own needs, desires, and dreams are “attainable.” [1] In time, this infant is more likely to become an adult with an optimistic narrative tone. This is the sort of adult who is likely to think “Things generally work out okay” and “If you try, you are likely to get what you want.”
Insecure, Distrusting
The infant who had insecure attachments with their caregivers are more likely to have a less hopeful narrative tone. They have a legacy of distrust. They tend to believe the world is a capricious and uncaring place, others cannot always be counted on, and human beings do not generally get what they want. In time, this infant is more likely to become an adult with a pessimistic or cautious narrative tone. Their thoughts might sound like “Things don’t work out unless you work hard for them” and “It’s important to always make back-up plans, just in case.”
Reading those two descriptions, do you have a sense of what kinds of tone you tend to take? Which one you lean towards is not a matter of logic, but more a felt sense of what is true, at your core. Neither is worse nor better than the other. And both ways of viewing the world have their strengths and weaknesses.
Knowing Your Narrative Tone Can Help You
The benefits of knowing which way you tend to approach the world and other people are many. But here’s just one example. Let’s talk about how each type of narrative tone influences making desired changes in your life.
People with pessimistic or cautious narrative tones require assurance that potential changes are likely to be safe. When considering new options, they benefit from thorough research and discussing their ideas with others. By developing a clear understanding of the risks involved and confidence in their ability to handle potential challenges, they become more motivated to make desired or necessary changes.
On the other hand, those with optimistic narrative tones are driven by the promise of rewards when trying something new. They thrive on hearing about positive outcomes and exploring potential benefits. Unlike their cautious counterparts, they are not motivated by avoiding risks.
Instead, their actions are fueled by excitement about experiencing new and positive opportunities.
Think about a decision you have been mulling over recently. What types of questions have you noticed yourself asking yourself? Do you focus more on the risks, or on the potential rewards? And knowing more about your narrative tone, what next steps do you think could be helpful to move you closer to making a change?
[1] Erikson, Childhood and Society, pg. 118