Why asking for what you need is a strength, not a weakness
Have you ever found yourself feeling hurt or disappointed that your partner didn’t meet a need you never actually said out loud? You were hoping they’d notice you were struggling, offer support, reach for your hand, or say just the right thing. And when they didn’t… it stung.
But the truth is: your partner isn’t uncaring — they’re just not psychic.
The Imago Invitation: Make the Implicit Explicit
In Imago, we talk a lot about the importance of naming your needs. That means turning longings and expectations, even the ones that feel obvious, into clear, kind, direct requests.
When we don’t say what we need, it’s easy to fall into resentment, disconnection, or hopelessness. When we do name it, we give our partner a real opportunity to show up for us.
Try This:
Next time you catch yourself thinking, They should just know, pause. Take a breath. And say it out loud, something like:
- I’d really love a hug right now.
- It would mean a lot if you checked in with me after that hard conversation.
These are simple words, but they open the door to deeper connection.
A Gentle Reminder:
Asking for what you need isn’t needy, it’s brave. It takes courage to be vulnerable and clear. But it’s also one of the most powerful ways to build safety, trust, and intimacy.
Reflection Prompt:
Is there a need you’ve been hoping your partner would just pick up on — without you having to say it?
What would it feel like to name it clearly, kindly, and directly?
Reach out to us at the Imago Center DC — we can’t teach mind reading, but we can help you ask with heart.
Want more tools like this?
Catch the video version on Instagram here.
And don’t miss the next post in our Imago Moments for Couples series!