Why slowing down just for a moment can change everything
Ever blurt something out and immediately wish you could hit rewind?
You’re not alone. When we feel triggered, our brains switch into survival mode: we either gear up to fight (I must win this) or we shut down and disappear. And in that reactive space, we often say things we don’t mean (me!)… or stop saying anything at all (my husband Jason!).
But here’s the Imago twist: your secret superpower is the pause. Even the smallest pause — just a breath or a beat — creates enough space for your more grounded, loving self to show up.
The part of you that remembers: This is someone I care about. They’re not the enemy.
What Does a Pause Look Like?
It might be as simple as:
- Taking one slow breath
- Placing a hand on your heart
- Wiggling your toes to come back into your body
- Saying, I need a second to collect myself
These small moves help regulate your nervous system and give your relationship a fighting chance to stay connected, even in tough moments.
Try This:
Next time you feel the heat rising — whether it’s the urge to snap, shut down, or defend — practice a micro-pause. Ask yourself: What’s the connection move here?
It might be:
- Staying quiet when you’d normally react
- Softening your tone
- Reaching for your partner’s hand instead of pushing them away
Remember: You don’t have to get it perfect. Just practice pausing. You will get better at it over time! Connection lives in those little moments, and the pause is what makes them possible.
Reflection Prompt:
How do you usually respond when you feel triggered or overwhelmed?
What might help you build in a small pause — a breath, a hand on your heart, a silent count to three?
Reach out to us at the Imago Center DC — we’ll help you practice the pause that changes everything.
Want more tools like this?
Catch the video version on Instagram here.
And don’t miss the next post in our Imago Moments for Couples series!