Why your partner’s perspective doesn’t have to match yours to matter
In the Imago Dialogue, every conversation begins with an invitation: I’d like to invite you to come into my world. Are you available?
When the receiver says yes, they’re agreeing to cross a bridge, to step away from their own familiar landscape of needs, stories, frustrations, and preferences, and enter their partner’s world with curiosity.
From there, the sender shares their experience while the receiver mirrors, reflecting back what they hear, summarizing the essence of it, then validating what makes sense in their partner’s world, empathizing with how it might feel, and offering gratitude for the visit.
Throughout this process, the receiver stays in the sender’s world — not rushing back to defend or explain their own.
Why Validation Matters
Validation is one of the most powerful steps in the dialogue — and one of the most misunderstood. Validation does not mean agreement. It means saying:
I see you. I can understand why this makes sense from where you stand.
You’re not erasing your experience — you’re making space for theirs. You’re not giving up your perspective — you’re just choosing not to lead with it. There’s room for your story too… just not in this very moment.
You might say:
- I understand your point of view.
- I can see how it would land that way for you.
- You make sense.
These small phrases help build the bridge and soften the space between you.
Try This:
Next time you’re in a dialogue, or even just a moment of tension, pause before responding. Ask yourself: Can I stay in their world a little longer? What’s one thing I can validate?
You’re not abandoning your truth, you’re just visiting theirs for a moment. You can share your story later. Right now, your presence is the gift.
A Closing Thought:
Validation tells your partner: You’re not crazy. Your perspective matters to me. I’m willing to cross the bridge and see what it’s like over there.
That’s what creates safety. That’s how trust is built.
Reflection Prompt:
Think back to a recent moment when your partner shared something important or emotional.
Were you able to stay in their world? What might it have looked like to validate their experience — even and especially if you saw things differently?
Reach out to us at the Imago Center DC — we’ll help you practice crossing that bridge to each other’s world (no passport required).
Want more tools like this?
Catch the video version on Instagram here.
And don’t miss the next post in our Imago Moments for Couples series!