One small shift that can help you come back together faster
Ever find yourself stuck in a bad vibe with your partner, even after the argument is technically over?
The tension hangs in the air. No one’s saying anything hurtful, but something still feels off. It’s easy in those moments to stay guarded, focused on what didn’t go well, holding on to your hurt feelings, or what your partner should have done differently.
But underneath the silence or distance, there’s usually something very human happening:
Both of you want to feel safe again. Both of you want to reconnect.
In Imago, we talk a lot about how connection itself helps soften reactivity. And one of the simplest, most overlooked tools to rebuild connection is appreciation.
Why Appreciation Works
When you name something you genuinely appreciate, especially after tension, it interrupts the protective loop and offers a small moment of emotional safety. It reminds both of you that you’re on the same team.
Appreciation doesn’t mean ignoring what hurt. It just means widening the lens and making room for what’s still good.
Try This:
The next time the energy feels off between you and your partner, take a moment and look for one small thing they did right today.
Maybe they:
- Made coffee just the way you like it
- Texted you during a long day
- Offered a smile or a soft word
- Tried, even if it didn’t quite land
Express the thank you out loud. You might be surprised by what softens in you, and in them.
A Gentle Reminder:
Appreciation isn’t a fix-all, but it’s a powerful reset. When you can see and name what’s working, even in small doses, it helps create the safety needed for deeper connection to grow.
Reflection Prompt:
When’s the last time you offered your partner a genuine appreciation?
What’s one small thing you’ve noticed lately — even something subtle — that you could name today?
Reach out to us at the Imago Center DC— connection grows where appreciation lives.
Want more tools like this?
Catch the video version on Instagram here.
And don’t miss the next post in our Imago Moments for Couples series!