You’ve mirrored. You’ve validated. Now what?
In the Imago Dialogue, there’s one more step that makes all the difference: empathy.
Empathy is where understanding becomes connection. It’s the moment you stop standing beside your partner’s story and actually step inside it, even just for a moment, to feel what it’s like to be them.
That might sound like:
I imagine you felt hurt when I didn’t respond.
I imagine you might have felt alone in that moment.
I imagine you felt excited and proud to get that promotion.
Is that how you felt?
You’re not fixing or analyzing. You’re just offering a simple, caring guess. And that guess, even if it’s not quite right, helps your partner feel less alone in their emotional experience.
And here’s the good news: Empathy is a skill. It can be learned. Some of us didn’t grow up talking about feelings. Maybe naming emotions feels awkward, or you’re worried about getting it wrong. That’s okay. You will learn over time.
In Imago, what matters most is your willingness to cross the bridge into your partner’s world, not with certainty, but with presence. When you take that small risk — to feel with your partner — you create the kind of safety that makes real intimacy possible.
Try This:
Next time you’re in a dialogue, or even just in a moment of tension, try pausing before you respond.
Ask yourself: If I were living in their world right now… what might I be feeling?
Then offer your best guess. Your partner doesn’t need perfection, just your caring presence. Empathy softens reactivity, settles the nervous system, and strengthens the bridge between you.
Reflection Prompt:
Think of a recent moment when your partner was upset.
How might it have felt to be them in that moment?
What would it have been like to gently guess their feelings, without needing to fix or defend?
Try imagining the impact, and then try it out next time the opportunity arises, even and especially if you see things differently.
Reach out to us at the Imago Center DC if you’d like to bring a little more heart — and a lot more empathy — into your connection.
Want more tools like this?
Catch the video version on Instagram here.
And don’t miss the next post in our Imago Moments for Couples series!