Author: Robert Gordon
I hear and read so many things that extol the ideal that we are—or should be—complete within ourselves and that we must achieve autonomy (e.g., merge our inner feminine and masculine, achieve enlightenment, overcome the need for others, etc., to realize our human potential.) Interdependence is forgotten in the pursuit of autonomy. What if the opposite […]
READ ARTICLEMy favorite marriage experts agree on at least one thing: The modern marriage is front-loaded with so many expectations for personal fulfillment that marriages often collapse under their own weight. In her popular TED talk, psychotherapist and author Esther Perel observes, “So we come to one person, and we basically are asking them to give […]
READ ARTICLESelf-care refers to things done by you for your own well-being and comfort. Many people know that self-care is especially important during times of stress, sadness, rejection, grief, and all kinds of upheaval and loss because it is these things that tap our inner resources and render us vulnerable to other emotional and physical maladies. […]
READ ARTICLEThe explosion in neuroscience over the past 20 years has revealed, among many things, that the human brain has a built-in bias toward the negative. In the world of evolutionary psychology this makes a great deal of sense. If we don’t stay alive, other biological imperatives like “Where’s the food?” and “Where’s the sex?” are […]
READ ARTICLEHere is a provocative 2014 article from Brandeis Magazine inviting us to look at how legendary stories and fairy tales that had once offered a realistic and cautionary view of love and marriage became whitewashed narratives that lead us to divorce. http://www.brandeis.edu/magazine/2014/summer/featured-stories/disney.html
READ ARTICLEThe classic model of marriage and partnership is changing. One reason is because internal and external pressures on marriage cause increasingly undeliverable expectations. Where once we were socially connected to communities and extended families over a lifetime, couples now expect their primary relationship to deliver all that comfort and connection. The possibility of ever […]
READ ARTICLEIf you’ve heard the name Ashley Madison only in passing, you may not know that AshleyMadison.com is a website for married (or otherwise committed) people to find partners in adultery. Ashley Madison, a combination of the two popular female names Ashley and Madison, entered the social networking scene in 2001, a time when online dating […]
READ ARTICLEBased on the research of Dr. John Gottman You may have heard of Dr. John Gottman. He’s known as the marriage researcher who can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will divorce. That’s not all he’s known for, but that piece of research certainly caught media attention. His dire predictions were based on four […]
READ ARTICLE“Much of our activity these days is nothing more than a cheap anesthetic to deaden the pain of an empty life.” ~ Unknown Echoing the wisdom of the world religions, new research suggests that people spending money on “stuff” rather than life enhancing experiences “are sacrificing well-being for a sense of value that never materializes.” […]
READ ARTICLEAs soon as my couples get serious about using conflict to grow rather than to wound or make the other “wrong,” things change quickly and dramatically. In the attached article (click link below), Brian Gersho writes, “If you were to witness a healthy couple disagreeing on an issue, it would be hard to determine that […]
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