A New Cohort of Chronic Illness Support Group is Forming Now

As we explore various pieces of our worlds each week, I am reminded how unique and how important the Imago relational experience is, both in romantic relationships and in general. One consistent theme that comes up is that living with chronic illness can be a constantly invalidating experience.

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Living in the Space Between

I imagine, we all know the difference between a genuine warm welcome and a half-hearted, reluctant gesture that is meant to pass for welcoming. We know this deeply in our nervous systems, well before our brains assign meaning to the feelings that arise from a lack of genuine engagement. Our amazing and brilliant survival system is generally excellent at gathering data and sorting it into safe or not-safe buckets. It knows the difference between warm and welcoming and fake hospitality.

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Spoon Theory for Beginners

Learning about Spoon Theory is a rite of passage for everyone who struggles with chronic illness. Developed in 2003 by writer Christine Miserandino as she was attempting to explain to a friend what it is like for her to live with lupus, Spoon Theory helps people with chronic illness explain to others what it is […]

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Sex Ed for Teens and 20-somethings

As a teenager, I was a little…lost. I couldn’t figure out what to do with my frizzy hair or my big nose, and I had this incredibly unhealthy instinct whenever I walked into a new space to scan the room for all the girls, and then count how many I thought were prettier than me […]

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Why should I try men’s group therapy?

Recently, a wife of a man in one of my men’s groups said, “Dr. Siegel did you sprinkle pixie dust on my husband?  He’s even better than the man I fell in love with!”  For most of my 30 years as a psychologist, I have worked with men in group therapy because it is such […]

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What I learned observing a Men’s Group at the Imago Center

In today’s world, where we find so much information about how to cope with various issues, from our finances and investments to our own emotional and mental health, many times we might feel confused and uncertain about the choices we should make in those particular situations. Narrowing down to the mental health aspect, we continue […]

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Men and Grief

The Well of Grief Those who will not slip beneath the still surface on the well of grief turning downward through its black water to the place we cannot breathe will never know the source from which we drink, the secret water, cold and clear, nor find in the darkness glimmering the small round coins […]

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Can We Talk About Sex?

Is there a pattern here? “When was the last time you two had sex and was it satisfying?” Couples coming to me for the first time will be asked this question. I usually tell them that some therapists say that “if you fix the sex, the rest will follow,” and others say: “if you fix […]

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Reflections on Fatherhood

For many of us, our fathers were not as involved in our upbringing as we would have liked.

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The Gift of Love

GIVING AND RECEIVING It is very difficult for me to give freely without expectations and strings attached when my hands are clenched tightly to you or to a belief I have about you. Giving and receiving is on my mind this year. I am keenly aware of the seduction and ease with which giving becomes […]

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