Men and Grief

The Well of Grief Those who will not slip beneath the still surface on the well of grief turning downward through its black water to the place we cannot breathe will never know the source from which we drink, the secret water, cold and clear, nor find in the darkness glimmering the small round coins […]

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Can We Talk About Sex?

Is there a pattern here? “When was the last time you two had sex and was it satisfying?” Couples coming to me for the first time will be asked this question. I usually tell them that some therapists say that “if you fix the sex, the rest will follow,” and others say: “if you fix […]

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Reflections on Fatherhood

For many of us, our fathers were not as involved in our upbringing as we would have liked.

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The Gift of Love

GIVING AND RECEIVING It is very difficult for me to give freely without expectations and strings attached when my hands are clenched tightly to you or to a belief I have about you. Giving and receiving is on my mind this year. I am keenly aware of the seduction and ease with which giving becomes […]

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WHY SHOULD I FOLLOW YOU?

Developing Healthy Masculinity and Leadership Skills in Men In the wake of the recent political drama, the #metoo movement, and black lives matter I’ve had many conversations with a longtime friend, Bob Devlin about how to foster a healthy masculinity and strong leadership skills. Bob is an Executive Consultant and Founder of Transformation Strategies, who […]

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Men’s Loneliness and Isolation:  An Epidemic?

Anthony Bourdain’s recent tragic suicide has brought attention to men’s emotional health.  There have also been several reports recently about the “epidemic of men’s loneliness” in American culture.  If this subject interests you check out:  Shankar Vendam’s, “Guys, We Have A Problem:  How American Masculinity Creates Lonely Men”   The podcast is a sad and sobering […]

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Growing Empathy for Men in Group Therapy

In an earlier article “Why Group Therapy for Men: 5 Benefits,” I wrote about how working with other men in a group context can be beneficial. The article raised some questions from readers: one reader said: “Ok, I’m interested but what are the mechanics of this?  How does that actually happen? Another asked “what is […]

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Practicing socializing in group therapy is a path to healing old wounds.

Socializing is always a hot topic, today even more so. The way that our earliest caregivers communicate the outside world plays a significant role in our initial formation of how to listen, express empathy and navigate relationships. Group therapy offers a unique opportunity to practice unfamiliar behaviors and get feedback on how it feels to […]

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Positive Outcomes of Group Therapy: Corrective Recapitulation

The roles we play in our family are familiar and indelible. You know what role you assumed; your birth order may well have played a part in the familial roles you adopted. Roles serve to stabilize or defend against flaws in the family. Returning home for the holidays, adult kids slip back into old roles, […]

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Positive Outcomes of Group Therapy: Altruism

Fundamental to the human condition is the desire to help others when they are in trouble. People struggling with interpersonal relations, overwhelming life events, ongoing negative circumstances or self-concept tend to focus on their own difficulties and hesitate to reach out to help those in need. Group therapy offers the members opportunities to provide assistance […]

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