Author: Hayley Hoffman
Can You Give Me what I need? Being in a committed long-term relationship is the hardest thing we do. Individuals in a relationship boil down into two distinct categories. You can call them Pursuers and Withdrawers, Minimizers/Maximizers or the-one-who-is-eternally-Disappointed and the-one-who-lives-in-fear-of-eternally-Disappointing. It all boils down to the same fears: “I am never going to be […]
READ ARTICLEMentality {(Need for Romance + Security) > (Fear of Rejection)100} -Memory {(Declaring Love led to Intimacy last time) ÷ (That relationship ended badly)3} × Anxiety (Will she/he reciprocate?)10 √ {(Is this bad timing?) +Intuition (I’m getting a good vide.)} × (Courage + Nerve ± Recklessness) = “I love you.”* What does it mean to you […]
READ ARTICLEInteractions with other people wire the brain for resilience. This dharma talk parable illustrates how interactions can be positively and negatively encoded in the brain. A seven-year-old boy and his family are having dinner at a local restaurant. The waitress, addressing the boy, asks “What would you like, hon?” And the boy cheerfully answers: “I […]
READ ARTICLE“Do as I say not as I do.” Children mirror parents and peers, fans mimic favorite celebrities, and art imitates life. We know that people learn by watching others. Actions really do speak louder than words. 100’s of billions of neurons make up the brain. Neurons connect with other neurons in what we call brain […]
READ ARTICLESocializing is always a hot topic, today even more so. The way that our earliest caregivers communicate the outside world plays a significant role in our initial formation of how to listen, express empathy and navigate relationships. Group therapy offers a unique opportunity to practice unfamiliar behaviors and get feedback on how it feels to […]
READ ARTICLEThe roles we play in our family are familiar and indelible. You know what role you assumed; your birth order may well have played a part in the familial roles you adopted. Roles serve to stabilize or defend against flaws in the family. Returning home for the holidays, adult kids slip back into old roles, […]
READ ARTICLETender touching is one way that we demonstrate affection towards another person. When you tenderly smooth back your partner’s hair, squeeze his shoulder as you join him on the sofa, massage her feet at the end of a workday, and hold hands walking down the street you are offering security, comfort, connection and loving awareness […]
READ ARTICLEFundamental to the human condition is the desire to help others when they are in trouble. People struggling with interpersonal relations, overwhelming life events, ongoing negative circumstances or self-concept tend to focus on their own difficulties and hesitate to reach out to help those in need. Group therapy offers the members opportunities to provide assistance […]
READ ARTICLEClients may enter group therapy with the preconceived idea that they are alone with their problems and that others do not share similar difficulties. While this is true to some extent, the disconfirmation of their uniqueness may be a powerful sense of relief. That is, clients learn that they are universally similar to one another. […]
READ ARTICLEThe inevitable exchange of information in a group setting helps members get from one day to the next. Twelve Step groups focus on the “One Day At A Time” approach to facing personal hurdles. Group members share behaviors that make it possible to stay in the present. Psychoeducational groups offer members the opportunity to reflect […]
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