Do you want to change your relationship? Change your Lens!

Change your lens, change your relationship! First of all, how would your relationship be different if you approached your partner reflecting on two questions: What can I celebrate in my partner? and 2. What’s right with our relationship? This sounds challenging, right? We are not programmed this way! Our default is looking for what’s not […]

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Are you fueling your resiliency?

What do rubber bands, willow trees, and roly-poly dolls have in common? Answer: Flexibility under pressure and the capacity to bounce back after stress. In other words: resilience! The past two years have called for all kinds of resilience from us — as individuals, as couples, as families, as a nation, and as a world. […]

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Can You Say I’m Sorry?

Do you know how to apologize meaningfully when you have made a mistake or hurt someone — intentionally or unintentionally? Most of us growing up did not see good models of healthy apologies to repair ruptures and restore relational trust and safety. Some of us were forced to say we were sorry when we weren’t. […]

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Couples who play together, stay together!

When is the last time you played with your partner? Nine months into a global pandemic, you might not feel very playful, especially if you and your loved ones have experienced hardship or loss. But that is exactly why we need play more than ever in our relationships! We need to counterbalance some of the […]

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Stop Automating your Partner!

What I learned from a quality espresso machine. A sticky coffee situation “Give me room to grow!” I found myself asking my husband when we recently got stuck in a triggering conversation about spending money, being on the same team, and assuming we could predict each other’s feelings, intentions, and reactions. A little background: he […]

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How to stay together when you’re never apart: Surviving couplehood during the coronavirus

In the past eight weeks of quarantine, my husband and I have regularly commented that we are not sure how we would have survived a lockdown if our now-grown four children had been toddlers or elementary school kids or even high schoolers, desperately negotiating to be with their friends…We have deep respect and appreciation for […]

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Are you having an affair… with your phone?

Do you ever experience anxiety or stress when you are separated from your cell phone? Are you afraid that you might miss something if you don’t compulsively check it? Do you find the seductive pull of social media hard to resist? If you answered yes to these questions, then you might have “nomophobia” (an abbreviation […]

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Discharging Your Loyal Soldier

Together we had to learn new, more loving and conscious ways to respond to each other.

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It’s Not About the Dishes!

Most of us think that if I am feeling frustrated about something in my relationship, it’s my partner’s fault: he must be doing something to annoy or hurt me on purpose, or she is the problem and needs “fixing.”

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Feeling Stressed Out? Start Rewiring Your Stress Response Today!

Boost Your Health and Overcome Toxic Stress This month I read Nadine Burke Harris’s powerful recent book, The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity. A pioneering pediatrician, Dr. Harris is the founder and CEO of the Center for Youth Wellness in San Francisco. Watch her inspiring 2014 TedTalk here. Harris’s ground-breaking work […]

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