To Differentiate or Not To, that is the question.

“What do you want to do?” or “Sure honey, but what do you think about it?” Have you ever tried to encourage a friend by reminding them of all the great ideas or qualities they have, just to have each of your reasonable suggestions or compliments met with all the ways their current love-interest has convinced them otherwise? Somehow the […]

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Relationship Exits

I had the pleasure of attending a Getting the Love You Want Workshop recently.  This workshop is built on Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt’s book by the same title, and is designed to help couples reconnect and to resolve conflict successfully.  The workshop facilitators guided couples through several exercises and experiences, either educational or […]

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Tender Touch

Tender touching is one way that we demonstrate affection towards another person. When you tenderly smooth back your partner’s hair, squeeze his shoulder as you join him on the sofa, massage her feet at the end of a workday, and hold hands walking down the street you are offering security, comfort, connection and loving awareness […]

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How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Boundaries are one of the most important factors in healthy relationships. The Wikipedia definition of boundaries as they relate to relationships is: “…guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits. They […]

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Choose Today: Shame and Fear or Authenticity and Intimacy?

In the early years of our marriage, my husband Jason and I used to get stuck frequently in the same frustrating interaction. “We need to talk about our relationship” I would announce to him out of the blue, with urgency and anxiousness in my voice. “I’m feeling disconnected.” How do you imagine he would respond? […]

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Stop Phubbing Your Partner! Are Cell Phones Getting in the Way of Your Relationship? Not so very long ago I remember observing couples at restaurants spending more time looking at their cell phones than engaging each other and thinking how awful that was! Of course, not too long after that to my horror, I realized […]

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Who is Helping You Get Off the Fence?

When two people are in a relationship and one decides to call it quits, does the other partner stand a chance to restore the rupture of an already broken relationship? Every week I encounter stories of couples on the fence or in crisis vacillating between staying in or getting out of the relationship. In the […]

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Is Your Relationship “Woke”?

I met with a couple recently who spent the greater part of their session dialoguing about a topic they considered trivial. “Wow, I can’t believe we spent all that time talking about that…” she expressed. However, the structure of the Imago Relationship Dialogue they utilized had revealed several underlying emotions and hurts as well as […]

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The Science Behind Infidelity

Helen Fisher’s 10 Facts About Infidelity If you aren’t familiar with Helen Fisher’s work and you are in a committed relationship, you should be! Committed relationships are hard work and various forms of infidelity are occasionally reported in my practice with both individuals and couples. As a guest author, Helen Fisher, the biological anthropologist who […]

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Want to Give A Little Advice? Don’t Do It! (or not until you have read this first)

Giving advice to someone who may be struggling, or stuck in that maelstrom of an unresolved situation, comes naturally, and often unconsciously for many of us. Before you know it, out pops your opinion and well-intentioned, ‘just do_____’. Sometimes we even follow up with our analysis of why our advice is really good, thorough and […]

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