Dating in the Age of Apps

A cheat sheet for dating in a digital world Human beings are wired to be in relationship.  Connection is fundamental to our wellbeing, and people who are in positive relationships are healthier mentally and physically. According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy […]

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Can We Talk About Sex?

Is there a pattern here? “When was the last time you two had sex and was it satisfying?” Couples coming to me for the first time will be asked this question. I usually tell them that some therapists say that “if you fix the sex, the rest will follow,” and others say: “if you fix […]

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Fight Fair

Having a consciously connected relationship means it is okay to disagree, it is possible to fight fairly, and our differences are welcomed.

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Using your wisdom as you age

Suddenly having a house devoid of children, when they’d been the major focus in my life for 20 + years, isn’t an easy adjustment. Having my sights set on my three children’s social, emotional, and academic development, made any other goal seem inconsequential at the time.  So, when the kids were finally gone, and on […]

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There is no room for criticism

Somehow we are wired to be in relationship with other people. And yet it is the most challenging that we do. People in relationships live in constant connection with another human being in a conditional way based on how we each treat the other. We unconsciously select this other person, hoping that we will finally […]

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Communicating or Connecting

Connection is the skill most couples really need to learn.

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It’s Not About the Dishes!

Most of us think that if I am feeling frustrated about something in my relationship, it’s my partner’s fault: he must be doing something to annoy or hurt me on purpose, or she is the problem and needs “fixing.”

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A key to a new year!

A new year, baby! I love when I first realized that I could start over whenever I want. I don’t have to wait for a new year to have a new beginning. My new beginnings are not limited to culturally dictated calendar cycles. As a young person, my year began in September. As a homeschooling […]

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More Real Life Sex and Relationships

Americans are having less sex An active sex life is the accepted norm for American singles. Media is sexually explicit, sexting is common, and our culture is more tolerant of sex in a wide range of permutations. Yet, Americans are having less sex with each other than they were 10 years ago.  There has also been […]

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The Gift of Love

GIVING AND RECEIVING It is very difficult for me to give freely without expectations and strings attached when my hands are clenched tightly to you or to a belief I have about you. Giving and receiving is on my mind this year. I am keenly aware of the seduction and ease with which giving becomes […]

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