Category: Relationship
At the heart of Imago Relationship Therapy is the idea that unresolved wounds of childhood have a way of programming us–patterning us–with an internal blueprint for a partner. The partner who fits this blueprint has the capacity to wound and disappoint us in just the ways we were wounded and disappointed as infants and children. […]
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Annual Trip to Your Gynocologist For most women, a visit to the gynecologist includes a vulnerable and unpleasant experience and necessity: A Pap smear to scrape cells from the back of the cervix is no picnic. However, this screening test is a matter of life and death in some instances. A visit with the OB/GYN […]
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Anthony Bourdain’s recent tragic suicide has brought attention to men’s emotional health. There have also been several reports recently about the “epidemic of men’s loneliness” in American culture. If this subject interests you check out: Shankar Vendam’s, “Guys, We Have A Problem: How American Masculinity Creates Lonely Men” The podcast is a sad and sobering […]
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Can You Give Me what I need? Being in a committed long-term relationship is the hardest thing we do. Individuals in a relationship boil down into two distinct categories. You can call them Pursuers and Withdrawers, Minimizers/Maximizers or the-one-who-is-eternally-Disappointed and the-one-who-lives-in-fear-of-eternally-Disappointing. It all boils down to the same fears: “I am never going to be […]
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A Disturbing Surge in Schools There is a disturbing surge in hate-laced bullying among students of all ages, as reported by Katherine Stewart in “The Nation”. Particularly toward Muslim students, immigrants, and children of color, girls, and Jews. According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, more than half of teachers surveyed reported an increase in […]
READ ARTICLEMentality {(Need for Romance + Security) > (Fear of Rejection)100} -Memory {(Declaring Love led to Intimacy last time) ÷ (That relationship ended badly)3} × Anxiety (Will she/he reciprocate?)10 √ {(Is this bad timing?) +Intuition (I’m getting a good vide.)} × (Courage + Nerve ± Recklessness) = “I love you.”* What does it mean to you […]
READ ARTICLEAre you Really There for Me? Why are some couples so quick to respond to their partner with anger or defensiveness? How can we break the cycle of extreme arousal, pain and more wounding that some couples experience with nearly every interaction? “We can’t stop fighting,” I hear. “Everything turns into a major blow-up!”. According […]
READ ARTICLEI hear and read so many things that extol the ideal that we are—or should be—complete within ourselves and that we must achieve autonomy (e.g., merge our inner feminine and masculine, achieve enlightenment, overcome the need for others, etc., to realize our human potential.) Interdependence is forgotten in the pursuit of autonomy. What if the opposite […]
READ ARTICLEAccording to the Eastern chakra system, when a person’s heart chakra (seat of love) is closed, it can’t hear, feel, or discern emotions. As stated in ancient Eastern text, modern man/woman is ambivalent and confused due to a lack of knowledge. Living without knowledge in a couple is like being hijacked by fear, dispensing energy towards […]
READ ARTICLEInteractions with other people wire the brain for resilience. This dharma talk parable illustrates how interactions can be positively and negatively encoded in the brain. A seven-year-old boy and his family are having dinner at a local restaurant. The waitress, addressing the boy, asks “What would you like, hon?” And the boy cheerfully answers: “I […]
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